Best lessons are found when you miss a shot

Koki Adasi ~ Best lessons are found when you miss a shot
by Kyle Malnati (easy to read: 3 minutes ~ 603 words)

As a real estate agent, I get to meet some amazing, top producing salespeople. I have always been curious why some REALTORS® succeed and while others are relegated to mediocrity. I often think, “are the BEST agents really more talented than the rest or is it something else?”

I have observed, over a dozen years, that what separates the best from the rest is the way that they handle their emotions rather than their natural skills or abilities. Success can be distilled down to how you react have when you make mistakes at work, which begs the question, “how do you feel about making mistakes?”

The noun feeling is defined as: “an emotional state or reaction.” Most of how we react to a situation is related to our emotions. Ironically, a large part of success is wrapped up in failure. With every problem, we must learn to create a solution.


Kyle (left) pictured with Koki Adasi

I recently flew to Washington, DC and met with REALTOR®, Koki Adasi, in Northern Virginia. Calm, cool, collected; Koki Adasi is a true professional! I enjoyed interviewing him in person, because you get a much greater sense for someone when you meet with them (versus a conversation on the phone). I started the conversation with a question that I’ve been asking often — “A lot of people get bent out of shape when they make a mistake, how do you handle failure?” His response was beautiful:

“Failure, challenges, and opportunities are all a part of the process towards achieving any type of success. I’ve been playing basketball my entire life. Your goal is to put the basketball in the hoop, right? Even the best basketball players miss a lot of shots, and their misses are ‘essentially failure.’ However, the best basketball players look at their misses as practice towards achieving their end goal.”

Koki identified an important lesson that I have observed with all successful people. They continue to try; they continue to take shots… especially when they missed on their last attempt.

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” ~Michael Jordan

I have to be honest that this approach to failure been hard for me at times throughout my career. Success, when attained, becomes so attractive that I forget that failing is a necessary part of the process. I am so competitive that I want to win at everything I do, and I have to remind myself that you aren’t going to win all the time. You can’t hit every shot that you take. On the other hand, I have learned that I can’t become comfortable with failure. There is a delicate balance between the two mindsets. I think that it’s most important to follow these three steps:

  1. take a moment to realize the mistake
  2. make an adjustment
  3. then try again

It’s all about getting more “reps” (repetition is key).

Now think back on that one mistake that keeps bothering you, and remember that rooted within every failure is a lesson to be learned. There is a reason that you didn’t accomplish your goal the first time. What happened and how can you make adjustments to get a better result next time? The most important part of the process, as both Koki Adasi and Michael Jordan describe, is the practice. Keep swinging and you’ll hit your target in no time.


Kyle Malnati is a commercial REALTOR® specializing in multifamily and investment sales. In addition to his sales career, Kyle is also blogger, speaker, and aspiring author on the topic of real estate success. He is an award winning real estate agent, which includes numerous local accolades, and was nationally recognized by REALTOR® magazine in 2012 as “30 Under 30.”

Kyle and his wife, Courtney, reside in Centennial, Colorado. They have three children: Charlotte, Amelia, and Henry.

You can hear more from Kyle on the Kyle Malnati Show. Learn more about Kyle by watching his real estate show on YouTube.

Connect with Kyle on Facebook and Twitter.

See more at: